Although personality is important for understanding yourself and others, your behaviour is influenced by something far more powerful; other people. We cooperate and get along with one another, and this has made us flourish as human species.
If you ever had a peculiar question like; who am I, and why I feel this way, this article might help you answer the question.
So what are the benefits of being in the presence of the others?
Research shows that having an audience can make you run or cycle faster, and do simple tasks more quickly. The option to compare and compete for causes your body to go into a state of readiness, with increased heart rate, blood pressure, and sensory alertness. This is called ‘social facilitation’.
This effect only goes so far. Of course, there are situations where we prefer being alone. The fear and psychological arousal of being judged interferes with our performance on harder tasks. So, if you have to do some kind of test as part of a job application, if you get a choice it is probably best to do it alone if the test is difficult. But if you want to boost your performance in something you know well, then it is better to do it in the company of other people.
Favours should be paid back. To reciprocate is at the heart of our facility for cooperation. But it is hard to find a balance between ‘give and take’. Reciprocity is powerful enough to override rational decision-making.
Reciprocity; the battle between the subconscious and conscious world
The subconscious mind is dealing with the irrational, and the conscious mind is dealing with rational thinking. The subconscious mind controls your emotions, and thoughts about the staff you do every day by 95% like desires, wishes or what you have learnt in childhood… The rest of 5% is dealt with your conscious mind- the superficial state of rational, and material stuff= reality. It is very important to become aware, and have it under control the linking/connection between the subconscious and conscious world. It is a constant battle between the two words. It is duality.
A duality as an evolution necessity, and the power of duality
A duality makes you be flexible in decision-making situations, unfortunately, it makes you be very soft or indecisive when comes making rapid, radical or important decisions. This is exactly what makes us human beings with all the emotions swings and feelings we have, and not only humans made from flesh and bones including the mushy stuff we call the brain. It’s all about the mind. This is where evolution goes…
We all live in constant duality
To make decisions about this or that, whether I lift the pen with my right hand but I will write with my left hand…these decisions come in a fraction of a second, we don’t even think about it because it’s something we have learnt in childhood- how to hold a pen, and write. But here comes the difference; because we don’t think about it anymore, we do it automatically.
The question ‘who am I, and why…’ only goes so far, the rest is down to wisdom. Wisdom is more than peace. Peace always comes after the battle. Mostly, there is no need to fight, not just with the others but with yourself, unfortunately, this is the way it simply goes. We see it everywhere in papers, TVs, online news or even the way our parents talked to each other or to you during your childhood.
‘Wisdom is a balance between right and wrong, between good and bad. Wisdom is more than a character. It is a life-time learning curve leading you to find yourself, and your right place in society, to be happy and content with the way you just are’
A little hint;
If you want someone to say yes to your request; try asking them big favour first, then agree it is unreasonable and ask for something smaller. If you would like your teenager to tidy his/her room, first of all, ask them to tidy the house…
Altruism is not a self-sacrificing or selflessness
Of course, we don’t always expect to pay back from the others when we do a good deed. Humans are capable of enormous feats of altruism, helping others at a no extra cost to themselves with no expectation of reward.
Brain research shows that giving to others activates parts of the brain involved with attachment and bonding. A valuation by the group in a society is a big reward. If you are valued by your group you will flourish and reduce the risk of being ostracized.
People are more likely to be helpful when you are in a good mood, and to people who are physically attractive, or similar to you in looks, dress or attitudes. People are more altruistic if they feel guilty they have done something they should not do.
A little hint;
Want to encourage people to help you? Catch them in a good mood and look as attractive as you can. Aim to find similarities between you and the other person – draw their attention to things you have in common, such as liking in the same holiday destination, music or food, and give them an impression you are interested in what they talk about- this is not tricky, it is just a gesture; it is part of wisdom to have an ability to listen to other needs. I would say; to be able to read between lines’