Partners handle infidelity, but only when the victim understands why this has happened, and the offender will be willing to do everything to regain lost trust and love. It sounds very simple, but it is not at all.
If you are a victim, ask yourself the following questions and try to answer them.
Why did he/she do it?
If your partner has been unfaithful to you for a long time what you should do to be able to forgive. Well, not quite an easy task to do.
Always try to empathize with a particular situation. It is never easy to forgive a person who has hurt you in such sensitive way, but it is possible, especially if you acknowledge that the mistake could be even on your side because the partner was not happy with you at the time, and his/her failure is easier to be forgiven.
Obviously, it is not always that easy to forgive by accepting that the mistake is on your site, that sounds insane but some might find a way out actually admitting that it might be ‘me’ being careless what my partner wants. This is definitely not a simple case to solve, when you find out your partner has been unfaithful to you.
Think what steps need be done before you do something by uncontrolled reactions which you could regret in future because here we are talking about you, not the one who hurt you!
When did it happen?
In dealing with infidelity, it is important to know how long after the marriage it happened and whether it was a one-off or repeated failure.
Of course, after ten years of marriage, the drift is more understandable than a year after the marriage, as well as whether it was one unrepeatable affair or a long-term loving affair. But that might sound like looking for an excuse for your other half who was unfaithful to you.
Maybe if you could find the cause of the problem you can find a solution
To what extent was it behind the edge?
Even before the marriage, the partners should agree on a relationship border. What is still acceptable to them and what is not. It will make it much easier in the future and at the same time, it should be a warning for both. The level of honesty your partner possesses is an attribute you should look for before you both step into something serious.
If a partner does anything against your wishes, you forgive him/her and he/her continues to do so, it is something you can’t accept. If a drunken partner fails, it’s a fact, not an excuse.
However, it is clear that drunkenness aggravates judgment. And the other half just does things he/her wouldn’t do soberly. But there is always a moment when you know that you have enough. So it is up to you whether you can put a stop sign or not.
Has this ever happened before?
If your partner cheated on you and then got another chance to cheat again, then you should ask yourself what to expect from his/her repeated failure. Is it at all feasible to forgive? Is he/her worth forgiving again?
How long has this been going on?
There is always a difference whether your partner lied to you one time or does so repeatedly in the long run.
“It is also important that you have suspected that something was happening and that your own did not betray you. Forgiveness also plays an important role. If you were suspicious, you’d better convince yourself that if anything was repeated, you would recognize it.
What can you lose because of infidelity?
The older you will be, the easier you will forgive another’s misconduct. We’re not perfect robots, we are only humans. Well, you can say that when someone is expecting you to be multitasking, doing several things at a time, but you can’t apply this phrase ‘we are only humans’ when somebody is cheating on you repeatedly!
We all say what we would do if we found out a partner’s infidelity – but as soon as that happens, we often do something completely different.
What you can lose?
To say ‘goodbye’ to your love for hurting you could be another reason to feel even more down. But life is also about giving, not just taking.
If he/her has repeatedly hurt you why you should keep forgiving, and feel down, because your other half is not giving you anything in return but by being unfaithful, he/her is actually taking something away from you.
Is taking away your dignity and respect. I mean if it’s all about him/her how you can say you respect yourself, and feel good about yourself when you put him/her in the front of your life, still after you have found out he/her has cheated on you?
Simply, let him/her go, say goodbye in a way he would not expect it. I can assure you, that will more than surprise him/her, and it will hit him/her ‘big time’ because you will do something he would not expect. That puts you in the front position.
You lead yourself into safety away from the one who has hurt you. Go into safety where you regain strength, and where you find out you have more time for yourself. Where the safety is then?
It is a place where you can possibly forget what happened; going to gym, or just like on the picture, go running with your friends. Open your eyes, and go!
There is always a reason for a cause, and blaming is not a solution to any problem. It is an excuse, though.
Author’s personal opinion
Sometimes, in life things don’t go the way it is written like in this article, that you should forgive him/her or accept his apology or even admit that the fault is on your site- the last one sounds insane.
Unfortunately, it is the way it goes in a partnership or even between people generally.
This is a very sensitive subject to write about. But I am here to help to realize that there is always a way out of any situation. My point is to find strength, balance, and what is best for you in a heart-hurting situation. It is a curve in life. We all went through it, we all learnt, most of us recovered. Life goes on.
We all do go through so many situations to deal with on a daily bases that infidelity could be a connection to what is happening behind the scene. Maybe if you could find the cause of the problem you can find a solution.
It is just like with an illness, you go to your doctor, and he gives you some pills to suppress the illness, but in long run, it will come back anyway if you don’t treat yourself in the healthy way you should prevent the illness from coming back. There is always a reason for a cause, and blaming is not a solution to anything. It is actually an excuse.
So, it is up to you as individual how you deal with the problem, and trying to solve it the way people tell you or you read it in some articles, it’s one site of the problem, but it definitely helps. You should not keep it for yourself but talk about it with someone who you trust.
Then think what steps need to be done before you actually do something which you could regret in future because here we are talking about you, not the one who hurt you.